Because Ye Ask Not…

Watching my Dad go through something really hard – finding himself alone at the age of 56. Watching him realize that the “common denominator in three failed relationships” is himself. Seeing his fear of waking up in the middle of the night and having nothing but his own mind for company, and knowing that every night thereafter will be just the same…Wanting to tell him that he doesn’t have to be alone, but not wanting to sound trite, you know? What my dad really needs is an experience with the Lord.  Seeing him go though this hard time, and wishing I could be guaranteed that it would have an eternal purpose, rather than simply be a miserable consequence of the past.  Wanting to see his past as a winding journey that brought him to life’s ultimate destination – the walk with God. Seeing changes in him – a humility that  has never been glimpsed before – a maturity that sits so well upon him….Thinking about and praying for him, and feeling like I’d really like to ask the Lord to save him, just because He can. Pondering the idea of asking the Lord to save him rather than simply saying “Your will be done.” Remembering that He is unwilling that any should  perish, and that I may have not because I ask not. Thinking about the weight of the prayers of five believers united in faith about Dad. Hearing my God say to me “You never ask me for anything big – go ahead, ask me.” Realizing that I don’t ask the Lord for big things – just little ones – not because He’s incapable, or unwilling, but because I try and be a “good” wife and not ask too much of Someone who’s already done more than  I could ever repay. Asking (as a wife would ask her husband for something within his reach that he would love to grant) if the Lord would grant my Dad salvation, because he needs it…and because, if possible, I would love Him more for it…

Read Full Post »